Five years ago, I was living groundhog day, working in corporate, usually doing 60 hour weeks, with no real life outside of work – work was my life.
It was all I talked about, thought about, ranted about.
I wasted hours and hours, of time that I’ll never get back, watching A Place in the Sun re-runs, wishing that I could move abroad, buy a house, live the life that I dreamed of.
Knowing that in some parallel world, there was another me, living the chilled out, simple, joyous life that should have been mine.
Crying out to myself “this is NOT my life, what the hell happened?”
And then a miracle saved me (although it was a bit of a shock at the time!)
Changes in the corporate head office meant I was offered redundancy.
I could have stayed in that life, spent more of my time working, driving up and down the M1, firefighting, getting frustrated with toxic politicking or I could be paid to leave.
Sounds like a no brainer, really, doesn’t it?
But even then, the fears held me back.
The money I’d get meant that I could actually buy a house in the sun.
But then what would I do?
How would I live?
How would I earn money?
And if I moved to Greece, how would I get my hair done? (I used to spend a fortune on hiding my grey hair!)
I had visions of me as an old lady, dressed in black, hobbling to the local well to get water because I lived in a hovel!
And it was when this image hit me in the face, my mind going into overdrive on the worst things that could happen that I realised that enough was enough!
That my mind really was playing tricks on me.
So I wrote all these fears down and really looked at them, then asked myself:
- Was it true?
- Was it even likely?
I looked at each of the fears, the excuses I was making up, the stories that were stopping me from doing what I’d spent so long dreaming about.
And I realised that I had to stop letting them control my mind and start thinking about all the things that could go right!
I reminded myself that I’d never been out of work.
That I’ve always done what I set out to do.
And the worst that could happen?
I’d have to get a job!
Looking at these fears, in the face, instead of letting them whirl around in my head, that’s what made the difference.
The fear still hits me, especially when I’m trying something new.
But what I know now, is that you can’t let fear of the unknown stop you from trying.
From living the life you want.
Because it’s the only one we have.
I got past those fears and almost exactly a year later to the day I walked out the door of corporate hell and started off on the journey to my new life.
In a red transit van, with a washing machine (full of clean washing which is another story!), a fridge, my partner and the cat.
Now I live in Corfu, Greece.
A simple, (mostly) chilled out life, renovating our old Greek village house, with 17 cats and Molly.
And I let my hair go grey!
So if you’re feeling the fear, whatever stage you’re at, get out that pen and paper and write the fears down, what are they, specifically?
And then ask yourself these questions:
- Is this fear true, is it likely, is it even remotely possible?
- What’s life going to be like if you let the fear win?
- How would you feel if those fears were gone and you had the life you long for?
- And finally, what’s the worst thing that could happen?
Don’t let the fear win!
