Every time I was called on in class, I was sure that I was about to embarrass myself. Every time I took a test, I was sure that it had gone badly. And every time I didn’t embarrass myself — or even excelled — I believed that I had fooled everyone yet again. One day soon, the jig would be up … This phenomenon of capable people being plagued by self-doubt has a name — the impostor syndrome. Both men and women are susceptible to the impostor syndrome, but women tend to experience it more intensely and be more limited by it.
—Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In
Imposter syndrome and what to do about it!
Feeling like you don’t know enough, aren’t experienced enough, that everyone else knows more than you?
That you need to learn more and more and more to be able to call yourself an expert?
That everyone else knows more, because they’ve had experience or training, they have letters after their name, they get promoted, they get the bonus, they get the customers.
And you don’t. Or you find it hard, when it seems to come so easily to others.
If you’re experiencing imposter syndrome, all of these thoughts are probably familiar to you, along with a whole load more I’m sure!
It’s a common enough thing, apparently 70% of people experience imposter syndrome during the course of their careers.
https://www.themuse.com/advice/5-different-types-of-imposter-syndrome-and-5-ways-to-battle-each-one
But if imposter syndrome affects 2 out of 3 people, then we can’t all be imposters, can we?
So maybe it is all in the mind!
I was brought up to respect education. All my life I was the clever one, destined to go to University, told I could be anything, a solicitor, a lawyer, a teacher (as long as I got the education!)
So when I found myself in corporate, surrounded by people with letters after their names, I felt like I was never quite enough.
That they somehow knew more than me.
Even when I was promoted, brought in to rescue projects, built a new department and team, delivered 2.2 million pounds of profit in one year.
I always felt like it I was never really enough.
In some ways, it helped me!
Because I was always listening, learning, striving to improve, give more value, better insight and be more.
But it took me years to realise that when I looked at those others, the people who were doing “better” than me, getting better pay rises, promoted sooner, given higher profile projects, that they weren’t better than me.
That the ones in power, the authority figures that Id been taught to respect, it wasn’t that they knew more or were better than me.
It was because they knew exactly what they wanted and they asked for it!
They believed in their value to the business and they worked hard to remind themselves and others of exactly what that was!
And I didn’t.
That’s why it’s called imposter syndrome – because you don’t believe in your own value!
So know this, if you are feeling like you’re not worth charging money or you’re not getting out there in the world and telling people about your business, then you are not alone.
We all feel this to some degree or other but there are things that can help!
What helped me get out of my own way and start believing in myself?
Being surrounded by others that believed in me and that I respected – people that were ahead of me and knew what they were doing.
Writing down my accomplishments, not just once, but lots and lots of time.
And taking action. Because if you’re doing, then you’re not worrying!
Four tips on reducing the feeling of Imposter Syndrome
I don’t think there is any one thing that will make you feel, all of a sudden, that you’ve arrived.
That you finally know enough!
But here’s four things that I’ve discovered help me to take action in spite of sometimes feeling like a fraud.
Find people that are just ahead of you and build relationships with them.
If it’s online, comment on their posts, like their pages, ask it they want to have a chat and then actually book it in and do it!
If you can, get to networking meetings and talk to people – don’t stand on the side lines and look like you’re eating a sour lemon!
Smile. Be friendly. Ask people how they are and what they do. Be interested in them and what they’re working on.
You’ll find that everyone experiences the same sort of feelings – it makes you feel less alone and realise that this is normal.
Follow leaders not gurus.
Find people that talk sense.
You know in your heart when it’s not the real deal.
Listen to your instincts and unsubscribe from anyone who’s just trying to lead you up the marketing path to the sale and gives no real value!
Because listening to people telling you that they can make 6 figures in 6 weeks is a waste of time.
Results are not normal
says every guru out there!
I follow people that tell you the truth, that know what they’re talking about and aren’t afraid of sharing it.
Just like it is.
Warts and all!
Write down everything that you’ve done.
Skills, accomplishments, strengths, knowledge I’d learned, courses I’d taken – literally everything!
Do you have any specific knowledge or things that you’ve learnt to do like building excel documents, powerpoint presentations, building websites, typing, accounting, preparing budgets, a degree or other qualifications/certificates.
Don’t forget things that are seen as soft skills, these may seem difficult to identify but if you’re known for listening, explaining things, leading a team, coaching others, solving problems.
What achievements and goals have you accomplished and don’t forget your personal life as well.
Did you leave home, get a job, build a career, buy a house, rent a flat, got into a relationship, recovered from a relationship.
We’ve all done lots of stuff in our lives.
And don’t forget, if you got paid to do something, then someone thinks you’re worth it.
Take action despite the fear.
The best way to get over imposter syndrome is to get out there and start doing.
When you’re busy building, creating, serving your customers, you have less time to worry about whether you can do it or not!
And it’s in the action that we realise how much we can actually do and learn how to do it better.
I try and remember the 5 second rule, which I first saw from Mel Robbins.
If I think of something I need to do, that makes me feel uncomfortable, like a live on Facebook, then I try and just do it.
Because if I take time to think about it, get the right place, light or whatever other excuse I can come up with, I usually end up just not doing it at all.
If you have an impulse to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will kill the idea.
Mel Robbins
At the end of the day, I don’t know if I’ll ever get rid of feeling like I’m not quite good enough.
Every uncomfortable challenge brings those feelings back up again, in their sneaky little ways!
But what I do know, is that if I give in to it, let these feelings hold me back, then I won’t move forward.
I won’t have that chilled out, simple, joyful life that I dreamed of!
Let me know in the comments, have you ever felt like an imposter?
And does that hold you back?
